Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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