is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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