I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
