I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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