i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
