Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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