so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
