6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
