the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
