I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
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You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
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I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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