oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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