new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize