first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
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It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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