were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
