i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
