Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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