if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
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