Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
