I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
