I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can I color on your dick again?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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