Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
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Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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