How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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