Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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