Porn is love you can see.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
