so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
