By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
