i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize