I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
