is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
