i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
