According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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