The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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