I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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