Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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