wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
