Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
