I wish I could punch you in the face.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
