I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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