BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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