This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
