maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
3 2 1 whiskey
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
