just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
