Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
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Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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