so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize