These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
