Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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