I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
