Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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