Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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