how can u be prego again
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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