There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Church boner. Awkwardddd
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize