It's Friday. Sex?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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