Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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