if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.