Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Less talking, more tequila
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
