Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
