I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
one might say we're banned from that church
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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