it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My penis needs a shock collar
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize