You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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