Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
