Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
